It’s intermission at a new play in New York, “reasons to be pretty” by Neil LaBute. I am standing in the lobby waiting for a friend. I am standing around awkwardly. I turn around and I see Keanu Reeves, also standing awkwardly in the lobby, also alone. I looked at him, and we locked eyes for a split second. That’s when I knew it was really him. I thought, “That’s cool, that he can come here alone and casual, a big star like him.” Fawning over stars isn’t my style, so I calmly looked back at my phone and left him in peace. Wrong move, Clifford.
Then, as if to say “Hey, I’m Keanu Reeves”, he awkwardly positioned himself right next to me, daring me to ignore him. He leaned on the counter where copies of the play were being sold, literally upstaging the play. And then he waited. Awkwardly. I looked back at him, but did not make eye contact. How could I? He’d win. It took about 30 seconds, and then a girl came up.
Fan Girl: You’re Keanu Reeves right?
Keanu: Yes, hello.
Fan Girl: Wow. I love you.
Keanu: Yeah.
I almost laughed out loud. He went on to say the play was “really well acted.” Yeah. Instead of all that dialogue, LaBute should have just put up a chronology of Keanu’s career…
“reasons to be pretty” indeed.
-brendan
