Because I was depressed, you see? Now does it make you vomit less? It shouldn’t.
A normal mom would say “aw, honey…you should get out more…maybe find a nice girl to date?” Not my mom. She decided to act like the sidekick in a coming of age comedy movie - certain that all I really needed was to get laid by midnight! Then she ends up having sex with my mom and I get really weirded out considering.
Also, the answer of course was “no,” but it’s not like I could say that. So I just said “I think so” and quietly blamed her for my life. I mean, she was the one who named her son “Elisha” and dressed me up like a fat Duck for Holloween 4 years in a row (see below)
I tried really hard to think of a hypothetical question that would be more uncomfortable coming from a mother. The winner: “Guess who got their vagina waxed today!?”
-elisha
If any of your mothers asked you that, you beat me.
