Growing up, my parents made my siblings and I watch commercials with the sound off. In their mind, they were helping to curb the affects of commercialism - forgetting, of course, that television is a visual medium. Shutting the sound off only helps a young child focus more intently on the toys, breasts, and bottles of beer dancing across the screen.
One night, we’re watching The Daily Show - and before you can say “tacky steel drum music” - a commerical for Girls Gone Wild comes onscreen. Remember now, the sound is off. There’s only silence.
And we say nothing…For the entirety of the commercial…Complete silence…Just my parents and I…Focusing intently on the toys, breasts, and bottles of beer dancing across the screen.
Really? No one’s going to change the channel? We’re just going to pretend like this isn’t happening? These commercials are like a minute and a half long. That’s a long time to avoid boobs. Oh God, I think I have a boner. Is that weird? Maybe it’s because I’m so nervous. Can you get a nervous boner? Is that a thing? Please God, kill me.
-elisha
