Also filed under “worst attempt at hotboxing in general” considering my windows were rolled down. This is what happens when you try to be economical about getting high. You end up getting high and stop believing in money or time.
One plan that wasn’t ruined: My plan to eat chips and salsa while driving. Speaking of which, they should call cup holders “salsa holders” because a jar of Tostidos salsa fits perfectly into a cup holder - a discovery that, at the time, made my mind smile.
Eventually I started singing my own version of “Wouldn’t it Be Nice” by the Beach Boys (even though Bob Marley was still playing on the radio). In my version, you plug in the street names that you’re driving by in place of the words “we were older” and “wait so long.” For example:
“Wouldn’t it be nice if BROADWAY and SEVENTH! Then we wouldnt have to EIGHTH and MAIN!”
One thing was certain: Anyone who was driving behind me on that day most likely wanted to kill themselves. Oh, also me. They definitely also wanted to kill me. In fact, I kind of want to go back and time and kill me too. Sorry mom, this is what I’ve become!
-elisha
